Thursday, April 29, 2010

Time to be a man

I just want to share some thoughts running through my mind now.

2010 has flown by. Many of my friends have been telling me the same thing too. I am nearly 30, and a lot of things are happening to my life as well. Not only to me, but to things around me that make me feel extremely frustrated sometimes.

Firstly, I am getting married this year. Planning a wedding is tough, but I need to make 2 banquets happen, 1 in Singapore and 1 in Sarawak when I am physically in Bangkok 90% of the time. Feels like building castles in the air! However, I am very fortunate Li Li has be extremely supportive and helpful. Nothing's gonna stop me from making our big day a really special one.

On hindsight, before I can even feel like I am married, marriages are breaking. In my impression, less than 50% of my close friends are married, but in the minority, some are starting to prepare divorce papers. If marriage leads to divorce, why get married in the first place? In a broken family, surely someone would get hurt if not everyone, especially the young children. I can't help but think about this time and again though I cannot do anything to help them. I think the best thing I can do is to try my absolute best to hold my wife's hand till the day I lose the physical ability to do it. Long way to go though......

Secondly, setting up a new company in a developing country speaking Thai is tough enough. The small team I have is working our socks off coping with everything thrown at us. But now, things are getting more complicated. Political turmoil is threatening to blow Thailand to a new low, and again, I cannot do anything about it! Friends who have not spoken to me for AGES are starting to talk to me again because I am here. My mom, who has always wanted to visit me, has tried not to talk about a possible trip here. Although it's really easy to stay out of trouble, it's really demoralising and unsettling that all this is actually happening.

Maybe staying for too long in Singapore has affected my ease to get accustomed to political turmoil, and I am sure I will grow stronger and stronger after all these special experiences. Maybe that's what becoming a survivor is all about.

In the coming months, I need to start introducing new products into my line to prevent my company from making losses during the rainy season. I need to start finding a new location for my company when I am not even really used to this place yet. I need to start finding a new residence when I do not know where my new office is located yet. I need to build a family, one that I can call my very own.

I need to grow up. I mean, really grow up.

Time to be a man.


  1. Are you Malaysian or is it your fiancee? It is possible to arrange a wedding even if you are overseas as long as you engage responsible, credible and efficient biz partners who deliver on their promises.

    Just to share my thought on your question, "If marriage leads to divorce, why get married in the first place?"
    Because no one knows what the future beholds so they never thought that their marriage will end. There are too many factors in a relationship that one cannot control. When cracks start to appear, some may ignore the symptoms, others may fuel it. It could be due to busy schedules, in-law problems, background differences, different life goals which never appeared in the configuration before marriage. Most people want to believe in 'happily ever after' but at what cost are they willing to sacrifice to pursue this Utopian dream? Career advancements, family duties, or even time for themselves are some things that are being sacrificed to maintain a happy marriage. The thing about marriage is you are no longer alone, you need to think about your spouse, child, new family members and the additional responsibilities. Some people are not prepared for this extra task or burden.

    I guess you are more or less prepared before you popped the question. As for me, if you care to know, my husband is working in USA now while I am going through I am in SG, pregnant and working. Many people empathise my plight and wonder if I will blame him for leaving me behind. Sometimes, circumstances like work opportunities only come once in a lifetime and separation may actually improve the relationship. It boils down to the willingness for both parties to make the marriage work.

    All the best to your marriage preparations and work. If you need any help with Emcee scripts, I can forward you samples as I have emceed a few weddings and wrote my own wedding script.

    Btw, Aren't you a man already? :P

  2. Hello Minyu

    Thank you for replying my blog, makes me feel that there are really pple reading it.

    This is not exactly a complain post la, more of a venting frustration post. I am actually in the same situation as your husband, where I have a one-off opportunity to do something outside Singapore and my fiancee has taken a one year no-pay leave to try to get used to my new environment.

    Anyway, be strong and I am sure you will pull through with your pregnancy and labour though he is not around and I think true love will stand the test of time and separation.

    Regarding the emcee, I will request the script from you again if i need it when the time comes. Anyway when are you due?


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