Parenting Poem Month: The Singlish aka SG50 chapter

Parenting is not a bed of roses, for every beautiful moment that tugs our heartstrings, there might be more than one contrasting moment of complete frustration, which I believe, will be quickly forgotten, or not.

So here's my rendition of one such instance, spoken silently in my brain, now also silently on cyberspace, in a language that best suits the occasion:

The day is great the sun is high

Finally the clothes can dry

Then someone nudged me on my thigh

"Daddy Daddy, I just bang sai."

Wife look at me, I say chin chye*

But deep inside, I want to cry

Ripped off diaper, he said “Wa!”

Ohhhh that smell

Really can die

“Poopoo mountain, I so lihai!”

Wah lau eh, sibey kana sai

Nuff said. Photo Credit: Busy Chris

****************************************

Parenting Poem Month is not about parents writing for the sake of writing. Such emotions cannot be faked, and you will not be able to write phrases like these without experiencing them yourselves.

If you missed our other pieces, here's where to catch them:

1. Poems by a Hands-on Dad inspired by too much Seuss
2. The Emotional Chapter by Constance

A Dad's Dinner

I was in a very engaging chat with my brother-in-law in Singapore about apples, phones and other manly stuff until the topic of food came up. I was waiting for my lovelies to be ready for dinner while he was waiting for his lovely to do the same. Then came a picture from him of a plate of calamari. Not wanting to lose out, I promised to send him a picture of my sure-to-be delicious dinner.

We then made our way to the trusty Chabuton, because it works when we are out of ideas. I will never reject a decent ramen fix, while Noah loves their Chasiu-don. But what about my wife? With Ellie in front of her in the carrier all the time, she was likely to forgo the potentially-dangerous soupy ramen again. Determined to give her at least the freedom of choosing ramen, I volunteered to handle Ellie while she ate.

I absolutely love being a father and adore my children to bits, but I do not enjoy every single thing. I am incredibly irritated with feeding Noah, especially when he misbehaves while being fed, which is not uncommon these days. However, yesterday, with the extremely fragrant Chasiu-don in front of him, he ate well. Phew! Inspired by our earlier hour-and-a-half date with the Minions, Ellie took her banana properly too.

But wait, where's the picture I was supposed to take?

Totally forgot!

Scrolling through my phone, these were the only pictures I could find.

One mouth of rice for Noah

One mouth of banana for Ellie

Sorry brother-in-law, these are the only pictures you are gonna get!

Oh, and this GIF.

All of us enjoyed our dinners, thank you very much!

Belated Birthday Letter for Noah's 3rd Birthday

Dear Noah

We just had your birthday gathering yesterday with a small group of neighbours, and Daddy has to apologise for nearly forgetting to put the customary yummy Foochow chicken soup on the table for you. It was really comforting to see you chomping it down during dinner though, and to know that you enjoyed your little birthday 'party'.

Our very different birthday picture this year, with 4 of us instead of 3

In view of you reaching the ripe old age of 3, Daddy has 2 precious words for you, 2 words that I hope you will hold dear to your heart and execute in the very near future.

1. Unbind

Your have been bound by diapers virtually 24 hours a day for 3 full years already. So long, that you know all different models of diapers by heart and tell me which kind you want to wear during different parts of the day.

This can be partly due to Daddy and Mummy, who want to give you time and freedom to decide when you are ready to go to the toilet by yourself. We are still standing by that decision and will continue to give you the time and space your require. BUT the amount of diapers Daddy has been pulling off the shelves now with Ellie's arrival is nothing short of insane, and honestly I have more than once attempted to wrap Ellie's tiny butt up in your ginormous undies.

SO, I hope 2015 is a good time for you to finally unbind. You will not regret the decision.

I am 3 years old from now onwards!

2. Unwind Unwhine, yes seriously, unwhine

Don't be confused. Yes, the word is not even in the Urban Dictionary, but that's what you've given me since I've become your Daddy. Unlimited bouts of creativity and inspiration, so much so that I have come up with new words that are destined for parenting blog greatness.

Ok, back to the point.

Noah, please stop whining, because whining does not get you anything, well not in my house at least, or in any house with me around. I always pray for more patience, but my patience runs out whenever you start whining, mostly without reason at all!

I promise you I will tell you, in a nice manner, to stop when you whine, but please do everyone a favour and stop!

My 2 words for you seem harsh, but I love you very much Noah, I really do. So much so that I am dedicating my blog's 200th post to you.

What a birthday means to a child, and thank you everyone for the gifts!

My day starts with sending you to school, and ends with putting you to sleep in my arms, there's nothing much left in my world if you're not in it.

So happy birthday Noah, one last time, till the clock strikes 1st of February again in 2016.

Love,
Noahdaddy aka Stranger in Bangkok

Poems by a Hands-on Dad Part 1

Poems by a Hands-on Dad

(Who's read one too many children's books)

There was one

Now there's two

Our house has become a zoo

Full of screams and pee and poo

I love it, you should too

***

Did you ever think

How on earth to catch a wink

Or go out with friends for a drink

All day long you're on the brink

Like your ship's gonna sink

And your head's turning pink

If you still can't get a link

Then you should have some kids, I think

***

"Daddy, I can hear you snore!"

I only just slept and you want more?

Sleeping has become a chore

On the bed, sofa or the floor

On the floor?

Yes! Near the toilet door

Just have a kid or four

You don't get to sleep no more

***

Inspired by Dr Seuss and his classic "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish"

Learning Thai with Namewee's "Thai Sad Song" and me!

As much as I continue to be impressed by Namewee's endless creativity and talents, I did not expect him to come up with a Thai Love Song Part 2 aka Thai Sad Song.

To be very honest, I found this song a little underwhelming and MV much less tasteful than the first one, but there were a couple of parts of the song which made me break out in laughter, and the new Thai words he used can bring your knowledge of the language up a notch.

So after my first Thai lesson with his previous viral song, here's my second lesson with his follow-up, focusing on some new but extremely useful Thai words (he did repeat some words from the first song, but I will not waste your time on them again).

1. Dtrong Bpai:
   Do take note of how I spelt these words. Dt would mean you need to pronounce it in between D and T, Bp would mean you pronounce it in between B and P, understand? LOL
   
   Anyway, Dtrong Pai means move straight, or go forwards.
   
   
2. Tii Nai:
   Depicts location, like "where" in English, and most commonly used with "Yuu" in front.
   
   For example:
   
   "Toilet Yuu Ti Nai?" means "Where is the toilet?"
   
   
3. Liao Kwaa:
   Turn right.
   
   
4. Liao Sai:
   Turn left. Combined with words 1 to 3, you are now invincible while talking to Thai cabbies!
   
   
5. Jep Mak Mak/ Jep Jing Jing:
   "Jep" means hurt or painful.
   "Mak" means very and "Jing" means real.
   
   So the phrases mean "Very Very Painful" and "Really Really Painful" respectively.
   Note that "Mak Mak" and "Jing Jing" can be used frequently with a huge array of words to emphasise your point.
   
   
6. Laew Jer Gan:
   I was about to give up on the song until the appearance of this phrase before the final chorus, which put me into hysterical laughter, especially after seeing how they translated these words in Chinese.
   
   Actually, Namewee might have made a (purposeful) mistake. If he was meaning to say "goodbye" or "see you again", he should not have used "Rao Jer Gan", as it literally translates to "We meet together".
   
   Instead, the correct and informal way of saying "See you again" is actually "Laew Jer Gan".
   

Ok, so now that all of us have leveled up in our command of simple conversational Thai, let's enjoy this pretty hilarious song, hope my lesson has at least helped you understand the entire song!

20 tips to pass off as a local in Thailand

After more than 4 years in Thailand, I am glad to announce to everyone that in most places, aside of tourist attractions which have dual charges for locals and foreigners, there is almost NO APPARENT advantage to behave like a local. Especially if you are taking taxi in Bangkok city, wearing a blonde wig and faking an American accent will improve your chances of getting a cab infinitely.

However, if you are still interested to find ways to effectively demonstrate your acceptance of the unique Thai culture to your Thai friends, here's a list of 20 ways you can do it:

1. Add fish sauce, chilli powder, vinegar and 3 tablespoonfuls of sugar to every bowl of noodle soup before you taste it, and add even more after you do.
   
2. Use toilet paper to wipe your cutlery, face, mouth and everything else, even though it is for your bum.
   
3. Don't type "Hahaha" or "LOL" when you feel tickled, but use "555" instead, since 5 is pronounced as "Ha" in Thai.
   -contributed by Benjamin Tan-
4. Use fork and knife for KFC, and don't forget to eat it with rice.
   
5. Drown every slice of pizza with ketchup, and don't forget to eat it with rice too.
   
6. For every cup of iced beverage, drink up the beverage and keep the ice with you, waiting for the ice to melt bit by bit to form the most delicious ultra-diluted drink and suck it all up.
   
7. Fill a glass full of ice before topping it up with beer.
   
8. Fill a glass full of ice, add a teeny bit of whisky before topping it up with an equal mix of still and soda water.
   
9. Pose like a supermodel for every picture, whether the backdrop is beautiful scenery or just nothing.
   
10. Go to a concert to support your favourite singer, but cheer for every performer just as hysterically as if they are all your favourite singers.
    
11. Drive like a mafia, and be extra forgiving to other drivers who drive like you do.
    
12. Use "Krup" or "Ka" behind every sentence even though you don't know what it means.
    
13. Use "Sawatdii Krup/Ka" when you meet or bid farewell to anyone, though you wonder why it can be used to say goodbye as well.
    
14. Go for weekend getaways in places like Amphawa, Khao Yai, Cha Am, Hua Hin and Suan Phueng, not Pattaya, Phuket or Samui.
    
15. Pronounce S like S at the beginning of words but pronounce them like D when they are at the end of words. Eg."Lotus" = "Lowthud".
    
16. Pronounce all Rs like L. Eg. Pronounce "River" = "Liver".
    
17. Pronouce L like L at the beginning of words but pronounce them as N when they are at the end of words. Eg. "Central = Centran"
    
18. Tell everyone Starbucks is your favourite coffee joint, even when you know there are tons of local establishments that make better coffee at a fraction of the price.
    
19. You know that in Thailand, for many families, the twin that comes out later is the elder sibling, because his heart is big enough to let the other twin see the world first.
    
20. Say hooray when protests block up all major roads, then proclaim to the world that the military coup is the best thing that could happen.

These tips are almost certainly going to impress your Thai friends, don't say I never told you!

Noah's Book of Jokes Volume 1

Noah is 2 years and 4 months old now.

Even though he still doesn't look anything like me, he's surely developing a knack of speaking pretty well, a trait that runs right through his Daddy. I am particularly impressed when he speaks different languages appropriately to different kinds of people even though he might not be good at them.

That said, he's also starting to accumulate some really lame jokes, which are too precious not to archive. You might have read some of these through our Facebook updates, but seriously, some are worth reading more than once.

So here it begins, Noah's Book of Jokes Volume 1:

BOSS OF THE BLOCK

Noah slung his pouch and took his briefcase. 

 "I am going to the office."

 "Who's office."

 "Noah's office."

 "Where is Noah's office?"

 "Playground."

Haha. Win liao. Good answer.

2010

"Twenty-six......"

"Twenty-seven......"

"Twenty-eight......"

"Twenty-nine........"

"Twenty-TEN!"

Bravo.

MATHEMATICAL WHIZKID

"One two three four five sex seven eight nine ten!"

SING A SONG OF *BEEP*

Noah approached Mummy while eating a bun for breakfast.

 Noah: Mummy, I wanna sing a song of sex.

 Mummy: Huh? What did you just say? Can you say it again?

 Noah: I wanna sing a song of sex.

 Mummy: Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty blackbirds, baked in a pie.... 

CUTE YOUR HEAD

Noah pooed after a few days and it was a huge pile.

Me, "Look Noah, your poopoo got mountain top."

 Noah, "Noah poopoo got mountain top. So cute."

 Cute 你的头!

DON'T SAY WAH

Noah, "Noah don't want Daddy to say wah!"

Me, "Ok, Daddy don't say wah!"

*carefully peeled off his diapers to reveal a lump of poo*

Noah, "Wah!!!!!"

NOAH THE OCTOPUS

Noah was fondling with his 'balls' after the shower right before putting on his diapers.

Noah, "Noah's tentacles."

THE END

The Dilemma of Noah

Noah Potter and his mother

Noah has graduated!

No, not from University of course, but whether or not he actually goes through University here, I have at least seen how he would look like in Thailand's pretty graduation gown, thanks to his playgroup's clever gesture of sending off every kid to a more advanced class with an 'elaborate' graduation ritual.

This was certainly a moment worth celebrating (at least it was made to feel so), but after looking at Noah's picture pasted on the wall of the school, he didn't look happy about it at all.

What a glum face

After taking a step back to look at the full picture, I finally understood why.

He can't choose between his triplet of girlfriends, who are following him into the next class!

Sigh, poor Noah, he has his own cute little dilemmas.

Seems like looking too handsome is not such a good thing after all!

Greetings from Stranger in KrungthepmahanakornAmonratt.........

I have said in a recent post that I have a plan to make constant improvements to my blog to give all my wonderful readers a better reading experience.

This morning, I suddenly had a brilliant idea. I would like to change the name of my blog, so that it can capture the TRUE spirit of where I am. Though the city I live in is famously known as Bangkok, after some research online, it seems unclear why it is called so. However, something more interesting I found out is that this city's Thai name, though unknown to most foreigners (and not fully-memorized by most locals), must definitely be the longest city name in the entire universe.

Don't believe me? See below:

Krungthepmahanakhon Amonrattanakosin Mahintharayutthaya Mahadilokphop Noppharatratchathaniburirom Udomratchaniwetmahasathan Amonphimanawatansathit Sakkathattiyawitsanukamprasit

also known as Bangkok

Still don't quite believe it? I even have its meaning for you:

City of angels, great city of immortals, magnificent city of the nine gems, seat of the king, city of royal palaces, home of gods incarnate, erected by Visvakarman at Indra's behest.

I think all of you here will know by now that this blog is named "Stranger in Bangkok". I will now like you to give me your honest comments on the changes I plan to make.

Will it be more impactful if I call this space "Stranger in Krungthepmahanakhon Amonrattanakosin Mahintharayutthaya Mahadilokphop Noppharatratchathaniburirom Udomratchaniwetmahasathan Amonphimanawatansathit Sakkathattiyawitsanukamprasit"?

Incidentally, that will mean that my blog address will become:

www.strangerinkrungthepmahanakhonamonrattanakosinmahintharayutthayamahadilokphopnoppharatratchathaniburiromudomratchaniwetmahasathanamonphimanawatansathitsakkathattiyawitsanukamprasit.blogspot.com

Wa..... My new blog will be completely unforgettable and equally impossible to remember, don't you think?


PS. After this site's name change becomes official, remember to add it to your browser's favourites!

Learning Thai with Namewee's "Thai Love Song" and me!

Click here for Part 2 of my Thai Lesson using Namewee's "Thai Sad Song".

I have always been impressed with Thai music, firstly, because it is multi-dimensional as different parts of Thailand appreciate different genres of music, and more so because of the nation-wide availability of performing opportunities for all kinds of musicians. I could be listening to a freelance folk artiste crooning traditional Thai ballads at the most trendy bar today, and jumping along with the most famous band in Thailand at a small pub near my condominium tomorrow.

That said, even though Thai music is starting to gain regional exposure, with many popular Thai pop songs translated into equally successful Chinese songs, it is still virtually impossible to find a Chinese song that has a lot of Thai words in it, until this certain "Thai Love Song" came along, so I am going to make full use of it to teach my dear readers some Thai words (which are more interesting and useful than the standard "Towray" and "Paeng" that you might already know).

I will leave my admiration for Namewee (the song's singer/composer) for another day, but he has really out-done himself again with this production. Coupled with the Thai director's creativity, this MV has successfully captured all aspects of Thai pop culture all in just an over-the-top hilarious 7 minutes(think Thai horror movies, transsexuals, Buddhist Monks, temples, Chatuchak Market, friendly local culture, Tuk Tuk etc. all in one), minus the belittling slapstick humour (think Hangover 2).

Before I leave you to enjoy the MV, here are the Thai words that appear in the song that might just turn out useful during your future trips in Thailand:

1. Bluechai:
   Actually, the correct pronunciation should be "Poochai". This literally means "man" in Thai. Ladies will be called "Pooying".
   
2. Khop Khun Krup:
   This common phrase simply means "Thank you". However, it is important to note that men should use "Krup" to end all phrases while ladies need to end their lines with "Ka".
   
3. Sawadee Krup:
   This could be the most famous Thai phrase of all time. It is used when people greet each other in Thailand. Many of you might not know that it is such a general greeting that you could even use it when you bid farewell to someone. Of course, ladies need to use "Sawadee Ka".
   
4. Kratoey:
   Also what we call the transsexuals.
   
5. Hat Yai:
   A laid-back town in the Southern Thailand province of Songkhla. Mostly visited by Malaysians who take a bus directly northwards from the Peninsular to spend money on some cheap Zebra stainless steel pots and affordable Thai-Chinese-style seafood.
   
6. Suai Mak Mak:
   "Suai" means "beautiful" and "Mak" means "very", so the phrase means "very very beautiful". This phrase will come in handy, especially for guys who want to go into the good books of Thai ladies, though it can be used in general terms to describe almost anything that looks nice.
   
   If the Thai lady you are going for is on the young side, I would recommend you use "Narak mak mak" instead, "Narak" meaning "cute".
   
7. Ratchapruek:
   If I am not wrong, this refers to the yellow flowers on the "Golden Shower Trees", which bloom spectacularly during the Songkran season in April/May.
   
8. Pratunam:
   Most tourists will know this as the area in Bangkok where the wholesale garments and accessories are. To make this word more useful for you, I shall break it up.
   
   "Pratu" means "door", and "Nam" refers to "water" (not many words come more useful than this one), no wonder Pratunam is sometimes known as the Watergate market.
   
9. Ao Mai:
   Easily to me, the most useful word in the song. "Ao" means "want", "Mai" means "not". In this context, it is phrased as a question. But when you are asked whether you want something, you can simply say "Ao" to take it, or "Mai Ao" to tell him you are not interested. Of course it does not hurt if you can end your phrase politely with a "Krup" or "Ka".
   
10. Sabai:
    The final word of this cute song means "relax". As you can see from the phrases "mak mak" and "same same", Thai people like to repeat words to emphasize its meaning. Therefore, you could also double this up and use "sabai sabai" to tell your hosts how relaxed you feel in their care.
    
    
    

    

    Ratchapruek, also the National Flower of Thailand

Till next time my dear students. Please complete the lesson by watching the video below from start to finish! You won't regret it.

The Stranger in Bangkok becomes the world's best Pediatrician!

Updated 6th March 2014

These couple of days, I have been reading many posts related to breastfeeding in a blog train started by Madeline of www.madpsychmum.com. Being the husband to a mummy who is valiantly still breastfeeding our little Noah at 25 months (even though the weaning process has slowly but surely started), many thoughts went through my mind while going through each and every heart-felt post.

I wanted to write something, but the topic is too delicate for me to write anything in full that will be both representative of what I feel and also sensitive enough for everyone to read, because even though I would like to see myself a supportive husband, I will probably never be able to fully understand the mental, emotional and physical strains my wife had to go through to make it happen. 

Then, I tried to recall what happened when this journey started. I remembered my wife struggling between recovering from her C-section operation and trying to produce sufficient milk for Noah, culminating in Noah having to be hospitalised due to jaundice believed to be partially due to insufficient milk intake.

It eventually got better, very much due to my wife's persistence and the encouragements of a new pediatrician and a BF consultant at the hospital, and Noah was soon growing big and strong from his full supply of BM.

All of a sudden, I remembered writing a post dedicated to our pediatrician, which managed to amuse my wife a little when she read it. Some of you might find such doctors slightly inept, but no matter what you think, we are extremely pleased with the positive energy he generates and he will continue to be Noah's doctor for the foreseeable future.

I hope this post adds some light-hearted humour to the blog-train, and serves as a form of encouragement to every couple who is fighting this lifelong battle of parenthood, especially if your child is still a little baby. I would love to hear your comments on whether you feel that my model answers are what I consider, world's best! So here goes:


Noah promoted me from Eddie to Daddy just 2 months ago. In all fairness, I am still a greenhorn, inexperienced and imperfect. However, having changed a Pediatrician and being absolutely amused by our new one, I have completely understood how to become the perfect Pediatrician. Using this standard parents' Q & A, I will show you how....

As parents of tiny babies are usually overworked, tired, depressed and the mother still recovering from the physical trauma of the delivery process, it is absolutely important to begin with a burst of positive energy. I consider this half the battle won, so I greet every parent with my million-dollar smile!

Hello, how are you, oh your baby is so cute!!!!!!!!!!

1. My baby cries a lot, is there any problem?

Looking serious for a while...

Ans. The baby cannot speak, its only form of communication is to cry, so there is no problem!

2. I am having difficulty breastfeeding, can you help me?

Ans. Really? From your baby's weight gain, you are doing a great job! I am not a breastfeeding consultant, I will help you make an appointment with her later. But remember, formula is NOT POISON.

3. I only give my baby milk now, do I need to feed him water?

Ans. Does your baby pee well? Is his pee deep yellow or brown, if no, it's ok! Milk is 80-90% water, if you feed him water, you might as well feed him milk, right?

4. Are there any side-effects with vaccinations?

*forgotten most of the side-effects already

Ans. Of course there are, but PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE! Go back and do your research, ask your friends about the side-effects, you can make your decision the next time.

5. How many time should my baby poop per day?

*forgotten the number already

Ans. When taking care of the baby, look at the baby, don't look at the number. If the baby never poop for 2 days but looks healthy and happy, it's ok! 

6. Is my baby gaining enough weight? How much should he be gaining per month?

*forgotten the number already

Ans. As I said, look at the baby! If he pee ok, poo ok, happy everyday, don't worry! Most important is to have a happy and healthy baby.

7. How many ounces of milk should my baby drink everyday?

Ans. Again, number number number. When taking care of baby, look at the baby, don't look at the number!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that the bombardment of questions have been taken care of, I usually do a very routine check on the baby before sending them off in my usual up-lifting way: 

You are doing a WONDERFUL job, KEEP IT UP!!

No wonder I am the best and most popular Pediatrician in the world.

I dedicate this post for Madeline's initiative to collate stories from heart-felt mums in their BF journeys to encourage others who are facing similar challenges. Click here to read all their excellent stories.

Presenting Noah, the fiery little boxer!

Disclaimer: No babies were poisoned or suffered any injuries during the making of this blogpost. And as I was one of the subjects in the pictures, I did NOT take these pictures.

No matter where you go, what you do, Daddy will always be behind you ok?

Stuck on you Part 2: What is life without Daddy?

Disclaimer: No daddies were harmed or killed during the making of the following comic strip. He was merely exhausted.

The Stranger's guide to taking care of babies

DISCLAIMER: No babies were tortured, teased or harmed during the making of this blogpost's video. 

Babies don't cry for no reason. Since they cannot talk, their only means of communication is to cry, and since I assume they are more than happy immersing in their beautiful dreams involving milk and more milk, I have narrowed down their reasons to a simple few (barring any special unforeseen circumstances).

1. HUNGER

Look Noah, Daddy is feeding you hands-free!

2. BEING DISTURBED FROM SLEEP

Noah, Daddy is sorry for disturbing you, please go back to sleep ok?

3. SOILED/WET DIAPER CAUSING DISCOMFORT

*No pictures here because any would make this blogpost R-rated

4. GAS

Noah: Burrrp!

Daddy: Finally.........

Noah's arse: Prrrrooooooot.......

Daddy: !@#&@!$#!)@ refer to point number 3

Well of course, taking care of a baby is much more complicated than what I casually described above, and Noah's increased appetite and slight feeding woes have given us a lot of things to think about, but all in all, a baby is nothing to be afraid of. With a bit of love and care, I am sure everyone can overcome this difficult initial stage and enjoy the fruits of their labour soon.

Just remember, at least for the moment, even though Noah gets the first and the very last cry, Daddy will always find his own way to get the last laugh. MUAHAHAHAAHA.....

A New Hero Descends on Bangkok

Bangkok is crying out for a new hero.

Everything is turning into chaos.

First the 'reds' say a million are gonna flood through Bangkok like a bloody red tide and make the new election a reality within a matter of days.

Then, the tiny drop of less than a hundred thousand did manage to crawl their way in, feebly camping in Bangkok, waiting for a miracle to happen.




Before we knew it, they DID make the bloody tide a reality, drawing 10cc of blood from any willing supporter and pouring it all over the place, chanting curses in the process, successfully drawing global attention.

When that did not really work, the remnants of the horde decided to make a weekend stroll around the capital, again drawing some glares from the media.

For all those who are worried about how the Stranger in Bangkok is getting by, I can assure you that he is well and truly okay. In fact, he has drawn his alter ego from Pandora out and turns into a heroic Navi to save the world.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

If you do something wrong that threatens peace in this world, beware, don't let me find out, cos if you do, I will use my USB ponytail and download all the love in the world into your heart.

IN YOUR FACE

Eddie bought his customer dinner and here's a short conversation:

Customer was smiling sweetly after talking on the phone in Thai.

Eddie: Your family called you?

Customer: *shakes head* A-DULT-E-RY

Eddie: *gasps*

Customer: Adultery

Sometimes in Thailand, sinning is so in-your-face.

Controversial Joke Time

A : Eddie, why do you go all the way to Thailand, you have to learn Thai.

Me: What's wrong with learning Thai?

A : There's nothing wrong with Thai, just that Thailand is the only country using Thai, not very useful when you go out of Thailand. Comparatively something like Spanish or French would be more useful.

Me: Well, I get your point, but if I can dedicate 27 years of my life to learning SINGLISH for 4.6million people to understand, I think learning Thai for 70million is well worth the trouble.