Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Stranger in Bangkok's microscopic diamond and cheesy wedding proposal

The aim of this post is to put an issue deep inside me to bed. I have been trying to close this chapter in my heart over the last couple of years but it has never failed to haunt me once in a while and I realized I just cannot forget it without doing something like this.

For the personnel involved, if you eventually get to read this, I am sorry if I appear petty. Looking back, I managed to sit through our entire conversation and paid for everyone's drink before leaving. That, to me at least, is gracious enough, because on another day, things could have gotten ugly, very ugly indeed.

To cut the story short, I am, till today, still sour over being labelled as "cheesy" for how I proposed to my wife. And that, by a complete stranger, who then told me my 0.62 carat diamond was minute as she had never seen anyone proposing with less than a 1 carat diamond (which planet are u living in?). I wasn't even the one who wanted to share the details!

Anyway, to make things clear, I am not writing this post to step on anyone's toes or to get back at any individual. Everyone has their freedom of speech, and I absolutely respect that. I am just writing this post to invite comments from both men and women reading this, to do a final debate over this issue before forgetting it once and for all.

As a man, to finally decide to commit my heart and soul to a woman and invite her into my life forever required immense courage and conviction. I took pride in the way I conducted it, and to be mocked because of it was and still is a horrible blow.

I bought my diamond in South Africa, one of the major sources of this glistening unbreakable carbon allotrope. I went to the jeweler who served my client well when he proposed and had a long chat with him before deciding exactly what the band would be like and how to rock would be set. During my first check of the ring, I even voiced my displeasure over their work and demanded the ring to be re-made before settling on the final product. As unimpressive as it might look or as small as it might seem, I can cross my heart and say that it was a proposal ring that came from an exotic location and fully customized from start to finish personally for the love of my life.

My proposal was an even more intricately-planned event. It was supposed to take place during our first ever Europe trip (to the Netherlands, Belgium and UK). As it was a free and easy trip, I carefully planned almost every part of the journey to ensure it would be an unforgettable one, plotting the exact venue to propose and drawing out contingency plans in case something cropped up to block the first attempt.

Beautiful flowers pictured at the Keukenhof
And so the proposal happened successfully (Thank God!) at the Keukenhof, also known as the Garden of Europe, only open for 2 months a year. It was a nerve-jangling moment for me, and I am sure I made it a sweet memory for Li Li as well. Whatever the case, even if it rained that day, my proposal would still have happened along a picturesque river in Brugge, along the Thames River in London, or even at a nice little cafe in Singapore if all else failed during the trip. Point is, any well-planned proposal will most definitely be a beautiful one, even if it's only true in the eyes of the couple involved.

All the guys reading this, I invite your comments as I want to know your views on this post of mine, especially those who have proposed before, negative comments are welcome too, just knock some sense into me if my diamond was really too small. Ladies, equally, I need your views as well, as I need to know whether I have really short-changed my wife or have I done actually done an adequate job.

Happy Yii family
The only thing I know now is that my microscopic diamond and cheesy proposal has given me the most beautiful wife and the most precious baby in my life.

What a good deal.

10 comments:

  1. i proposed with a 0.2 carat diamond. wife loved it. lets not be suckers to de beers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No suckers to De Beers

      No suckers to De Beers

      No monies for Tiffany's

      Delete
  2. Life is too short, who cares what others think, I am more interested in you getting your beau's approval.

    Call me cheapskate or anything, I rather give my Mrs 5 carat of LovingTenderCare, then some rock (which promise to be woman's best friend).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to admit I have dwelled on this for too long and really should not have felt this bitter over some comment I should not care about.

      I really want to put this to bed with this post! Thanks for your encouragement, and yes, 100 carats to TenderLovingCare to our Mrs, like what Mr Anonymous said above, let's not be suckers to De Beers.

      Delete
  3. From a woman's point of view: It doesn't matter how big, or small the diamond which you used to propose is. It doesn't even matter if it's a diamond to begin with.

    What matters most is the intention.
    You want to spend the rest of your life being two instead of one. Don't let all the naysayers who vouch that 'marriage is but a slip of paper' fool you into thinking it's what they feel. Deep in everyone's heart is a desire to be wanted, and to find a soulmate - someone who can share weal and woe with, without making them feel like an incompetent-at-handling-life individual.

    I've known some guys who proposed with 1.5 carats - 3 carats, to something which their wives can maim them with in the event of any tragedy. I wondered what happened to the diamond when things broke down. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've known others who were not wealthy enough to purchase even a 0.2C diamond, or even loose ones to give the illusion of a big one. They have chosen to mark their 5th, 10th and 15th year anniversary with carats which is even made more memorable than trying to bust the bank buying a stone which they could have ill afforded when they were starting out in life.

    My husband didn't give me a diamond for the proposal. Heck... he didn't even propose! Somehow, cliched as it may sound, when you meet the right person, things gravitate towards something which seems the most natural thing in the world.

    His Mum gave him heirloom diamonds, which she asked him to reset into a trilogy in white gold because 'she won't wear yellow gold!' (that's how well she tried to accommodate me). At the jewellers, he saw an eternity ring, which he purchased to go with the past, present and future symbol. All this while I was busy worrying about guest lists and gowns :)

    Ok... this comment which appears to be evolving into a blog post in itself is indication of how strongly I feel about this. Please don't feel that you didn't do enough. There is the rest of your life to show the wife and your son how much they mean to you. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Regina

      Firstly I would like to say a big HI to you and thank you for taking the time to reply and give such a big reassurance.

      Actually, I never felt one bit that my wife thought what I did was insufficient. I, too, feel that I made a decent effort, even if I might have done better with how the ring eventually turned out, not that it's very important.

      In any case, I chose to write this post because I can no longer deny that what was said to me that fateful night had well and truly hurt my pride as a man, and by doing this, however petty or however much it might sound like an unreasonable rant over a 'small' matter, it will help release some of that negative feeling that I had kept oppressed inside me for a good 2 years.

      I thank everyone who has given me an assurance that everything that I believe in is shared by many. That's enough for me.

      Delete
  4. Forget about what people say! As long as wife happy can already! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Edmund thanks for dropping by!

      Yeah you are absolutely right! The proposal was for her anyway...

      Delete
  5. Hi Eddie, dropping by after seeing your post in Parent Blogger Circle. Live by the motto: happy wife, happy life! Who cares what others think? I didn't even get any diamond and no bended knee, but I still said yes to the man of my dreams!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks MotherKao for your support!

      Aiya, but you know, as a man, such a supposedly well-thought-out plan got the knock-back from a single woman whom I barely knew hurt my pride la.... haha, but anyway I have gotten over it!

      Delete

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