Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Dilemma of Fatherhood

Dear Noah

You are 15 months old now.

Time flies. I still remember watching you gaze into my eyes for the first time in your life in the hospital's nursery after your first ever bath.

But no, maybe I don't remember anymore. Sometimes, when I look at your chubby face chuckling at me baring all your 8 front teeth in full glory, I can no longer picture how you looked 15 months ago, 12 months ago, or even 6 months ago. Oh, those precious memories, hidden deep in my heart, why do I struggle to find them when I want to?

Did you look like that? I almost cannot remember already.

These couple of months, the babies we know around your age all began walking. You simply watch them  without showing much interest. Teachers/Neighbours alike started to apply peer pressure to push you to start walking. We did not buckle, and gave you your own time. Seriously, it does not matter to Daddy and Mummy. You are a clever boy. You can walk when you feel like it, and talk when you are ready. You can stay snug in Daddy's embrace for as long as you want.

Those were the days...... 

If I have a time machine, I will freeze every precious moment we have together and live in the world with just you and Mummy.

If I have a choice, I will keep you as little baby Noah, because I can no longer envision life without your shrieks of pure joy.

But that's not going to happen. You are growing at a pace faster that I can imagine. I dread the day that you will run on your own and reject my hugs. I am fearful of the future when you are no longer willing to accompany me when I finally have more time to spend with you.

Relax Noah, slow down. Take your own sweet time to grow up. Stop once in a while to smell the roses and roll in the grass. The adult world is more complicated than you think. Enjoy your childhood while you can.

You are starting to walk with support now

We will be with you every step of the way.



  1. My son is now 19 months old, and I feel exactly the same way. Reading your post made me think that our children give us a wonderful gift of not being as fearful and anxious as society tells us to be.

    1. Hello Jay! Thanks for commenting, I would like to get to know you better.

      Sigh yeah, oh well, sometimes you really look at them and feel that this part of our lives is really the happiest and most carefree, that's why I used the words "pure joy" to describe his chuckles.

      Our adult laughters are not so "pure" anymore are they?

  2. This is the best moment\s, when kids always look for us, play with us, and they still smell so nice, and the "horns" have not grown yet :)

    Take more photos, blog about it, enjoy everyday :)

    cheers, Andy (SengkangBabies)

    1. Hey Andy

      I did not mention the fear of his "horns" in my post! Haha....

      Yeah, I guess the only way I can treasure this time is to spend as much time with him as possible and enjoy every moment.


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