Birthday Letters from Daddy - Part 3: The Warehouse Birthday Bash

Dear Noah

Daddy has been very busy recently, so I admit to having wanted to over-simplify your birthday activities. Luckily, Mummy thought otherwise and convinced me of the importance of giving you a proper celebration.

Having kiddy parties at a McDonald's function room might be nice, but it really is too common, so Mummy came up with the brilliant idea of giving you a Warehouse Birthday Bash, complete with a self-designed Safari-themed birthday banner. It can't get much more unique than that, can it?

Do you like the special banner designed for you by Mummy?

Aside of it being your first birthday, there were many other firsts during your party:

You had your first Birthday Cake

You had your first cake-cutting session after blowing out your first candle

You unwrapped and took out your first birthday present

You had your first taste of our favourite Larna Cake

I do not know how much of today's activities you can actually remember, but it really doesn't matter to us. Most importantly, we want you to experience as many pleasant new things as possible while enjoying yourself every step of the way.

Happy Noahmummy and Noah in front of the banner

Although your birthday is over, I want you to know that as long as you are together with Daddy and Mummy, our hearts will be filled to the brim with love, and everyday will be a special day worth waiting for.

I am looking forward to tomorrow already.

Love
Noahdaddy aka Stranger in Bangkok

Birthday Letters from Daddy - Part 2

Dear Noah

Though it is your birthday, you should never forget that it is on this day that your mother suffered probably the most life-threatening medical procedure in her life so far to bring you to this world.

The 9 months before that were not easy as well. You should know, because you were with her every inch of the way, but if you were too small to remember, Daddy remembers it very well.

The first trimester was a nightmare. Mummy puked everything she ate and slept the rest of the way, for nearly an entire 3 months. In the process, she had to help Daddy whenever she could to pack things so that we could move from our old office to our current condominium.

You were better to Mummy during her second trimester. We stomped around Bangkok together to eat as many nice things as possible, and even went to Hua Hin for a staycation with friends. It was during that time when Thailand faced its worst floods in 50 years, and we scraped through it unscathed. It is also why we decided to call you Noah, because you were our blessing during times of terrible floods.

Mummy started to have a slight pregnancy-induced complication towards her third trimester, which resulted in her needing to go under the knife on this day last year to safely deliver you. However, by doing that, she suffered great physical trauma, but still had to feed you at 2-hourly intervals in her painful condition.

Mummy loves you very much. She stays at home 24 hours a day to take care of you. Daddy needs to work and put food on the table, so although I try my best to spend as much time with you and Mummy as possible, it is inevitable that I spend nearly the entire day out.

So promise Daddy that you will be nice to Mummy, and help Daddy make her the happiest Thaitai in the world. Continue to laugh at will, and do not make Mummy angry by throwing unnecessary tantrums (which you are starting to do more and more). Be gentle with her, sayang her, not scratch her, leaving small scars all over.

Noahmummy and Noah

Two is always better than one. It's time for us, father and son, to work together to make Mummy feel like coming to Bangkok with us was the best decision she has ever made.

Love,
Noahdaddy aka Stranger in Bangkok

Birthday Letters from Daddy - Part 1

Dear Noah,

Today is your first birthday. Daddy woke up at 5am to ensure that a running tradition in the Yii family will start right from the beginning of your life journey.

Hard-boiled egg and delicious chicken soup with meesua

Your grandma never fails to make this for me during each of my birthdays. I bought a Kampung chicken and used the special springy meesua from Sibu to cook this. Although a dash of sesame oil and chinese wine will make it taste even more authentic, I decided to forgo them this time so that it will be more suitable for you to have your first taste of this birthday dish. I am glad you appeared to enjoy it, Daddy and Mummy certainly enjoyed our much bigger portions. I believe that in the future, no matter how busy you are, you will always remember to rush home to have this with us during your birthday and feel our love in your heart.

Noah happily playing with his red egg

Mummy dyed the egg red for the occasion. Surprisingly, you did not seem to enjoy eating hard-boiled egg as much as the meesua. In this case, you are very much like your mum. When you are ready, I will make sure your eggs have a gooey molten yolk in the centre, just like your mum enjoys them.

Items for Noah to pick

Before Daddy left for work, we decided to go ahead with the item-picking game that both your great-grandparents encouraged us to play. It was supposed to give an indication of your possible occupation in the future.

You will have your own interests, and Daddy will give you all the freedom you want to pursue your true love. However, deep inside, after looking at the items, I quietly hoped that you will either pick the chopsticks (and become a gourmet I always wanted to be) or the drums, because I said to your mum before, "If Noah wants to be a drummer in the future, I want him play drums for Yanni".

I initially planned to take a picture of your crawling towards the items, but your moves were swift like a jaguar. Before I could even set the camera properly, you have already made your choice.

Did you guess it right, it was the 1000THB note.

I hope you will earn enough to not have to worry about life's basic necessities, but money is not the most important thing in the world. I would rather you spend your efforts loving the people around you and making them feel that you have been a blessing in their lives. That is why we called you Noah, because he was down-to-earth, God-fearing, and was the beacon of light in a time of darkness, and a savior during the great floods.

I am also deeply concerned that you will become a cashier or bank teller, but never mind, it's ok, even if it happens, Daddy will still love you all the same.

Just make sure you become the World's Best Teller.


Love,
Noahdaddy aka Stranger in Bangkok

Running a business in Thailand Part 1: The Pain of Hiring

Three and a half years after first stepping permanently into Thailand, I feel I am finally ready to start a new 'advisory' series. If my previous Survival tips in a Foreign Land series was created because of the experience built up from my ceaseless business-related travelling, this new column is definitely inspired by the unique challenges I have faced running a company specifically in Thailand.

Unlike the previous series, which was promptly concluded in 4 separate posts, this will be a topic that will become a permanent feature in my blog, and I will give some thoughts and sharing on the topic as I when I deem appropriate. It is not possible for me to teach you how to open a company and run one successfully here, as I am no guru and am still committing mistakes everyday, but I will definitely give you some insight on what obstacles you will need to overcome in order to run a decent business in Thailand.

I am currently in the process of hiring more staff in a bid to grow the company, and hiring has been a pain in my arse right from the beginning. Just in the last couple of weeks, I have suffered enough frustration from POTENTIAL interviewees for me to set my district on fire. Why POTENTIAL interviewees? Because I have really only seen 2 of them so far!

I placed my job advertisement on 2 popular job websites recommended by a couple of Thai friends, looking for a Sales Executive to assist us in dealing with customers. And here goes:

The job specifications, plain and simple

From my previous hiring experience, I understood that Thais have the bad habit of finding jobs during office hours. Resumes usually don't stop popping into my mailbox during office hours, while the mailbox goes absolutely quiet during weekends. This is pretty scary isn't it, as the candidate will probably do the same to my company if I hire them. Hence, although I have to give up on many candidates, I give special priority to those who take the effort to work when they are supposed to, and look for new opportunities after hours/during weekends.

Though the clear message that I am only interested in English resumes, 90% of the resumes I received were still completely in Thai. Luckily, I read enough Thai to identify the part where the candidates state their English proficiency and subsequently requested for their English CV. With this exercise, I successfully invited a few interesting candidates here for an interview.

Candidate 1:

She came with her MUM (who does that?), and could not speak a word of English.

Candidate 2:

She attempted to conduct a phone interview with me, asking me lots of questions before agreeing to come, only to send me an email a few hours before the actual interview saying her mother would not allow her to come because our office is too far from her home.

Candidate 3:

She came and absolutely lost all the fire in her eyes when she learnt that we work on Saturday mornings. She obviously did NOT read the job specifications.

Candidate 4:

She said that she was busy this month, and asked whether she could come for interview after 15th February (this was asked mid-Jan). Incredible!

Candidate 5:

I pushed away a couple of meetings to wait for her in the office. But I simply sat like an idiot in my room waiting. Half an hour after her scheduled interview time, I called her, only to find that she completely forgot about the interview and went back to her hometown Sukhothai during the weekend.

So you see, it has been disappointment after disappointment so far. In Singapore, at least during my time as a fresh graduate, everyone treated their interview opportunities with utmost respect. We read the job specs carefully, did extensive research on the company, dressed our best and made sure we arrived at the location as early as possible. I am not expecting the same in Thailand, but to have gotten such a slip-shod attitude from almost everyone (many who came from the better local Universities and spoke English like Americans) is nothing short of shocking.

Three years ago, my company was newly set up. We faced similar problems looking for people. However, I could accept the difficulties we faced, as we were looking for experienced staff (possibly older than me) to come in and help us immediately, and it would never be easy as I could not expect established professionals to quit their jobs to join an unknown start-up.

Times have changed. We are now a relatively well-known establishment in our field turning over nearly 3 million USD a year and rapidly growing. We should be more than a good fit for the young English-speaking graduates looking for a fresh challenge, but sigh, my hiring process hasn't gotten any easier.

Despite all the pain, this is not an aspect to deter you from doing business in Thailand. Perseverance is key. Though every step of hiring was frustrating, my company head-count has still managed to grow annually, standing now at 8. I have absolute faith that we will eventually find the right people to take us to another level.

On the other hand, I worry for the future of Thailand, if this is the kind of attitude the current education system has managed to nurture. Whoever's in charge better immediately start whipping basic respect and professionalism into the brains of their younger generation, otherwise, they will have no one to blame if the progress of the country is stifled by the lack of basic competence from their local workforce

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The "Better Fathering Index"- what's the point?

Happy New Year! I have been delaying my first post of 2013 due to my extremely heavy workload (think working and attending Thai language lessons and webpage design lessons concurrently) recently, but a new development in Singapore has activated my blogging instincts sufficiently for me to wake up especially early today to write this piece.

Singapore has done it again, it has achieved another FIRST, this time, in becoming the FIRST country in the world to come up with a performance-measuring-scale for fathers in Singapore, called the "Better Fathering Index" (referred to as the BFI for the rest of the post). Having an airport ranking NUMBER 1 in the world, or having the largest ferris wheel in the world might offer some form of pride for some Singaporeans, but I believe this new number 1 will not be welcome by many any parent.

Firstly, why the BFI? Why not formulate the "Better Mothering Index" or "Best Grandparenting Index"? Because it is downright insulting to the mother since everyone knows the mother is the one who will naturally be most involved in taking care of the child? Because our old and retired grandparents do not deserve anymore stress having a number put on their heads when they should be deservedly enjoying the final phase of their lives? Then, why target the father instead?

Secondly, what is the point of parenting? Aren't all parents trying their very best so that their children will hopefully be brought up the right way and become good people who contribute to the society? If that is the case, shouldn't 'measuring' the 'quality' of the kids we bring up be a more accurate measure of how good a job we have done? No, of course not, the government might argue. Rightly so, because over the last few decades, children in Singapore have been under so much unnecessary stress over grades and rankings in school that MOE has removed (*round of applause) the ranking system in school as well as the announcement of most outstanding grades in PSLE. Then, why now start to put a number on Daddies' heads?

Thirdly, how are we to judge how good a father is? According to the Centre for Fathering, it might involve aspects like how much time the father spends with the child and the kinds of activities they do together. 

Take my father and myself for example, we are absolutely contrasting Daddies. My dad, being the traditional guy as he is, spends most of his time working, expanding his company (shedding blood and sweat outside to provide for the family) and therefore is not very involved in the nitty gritty details at home like cooking, doing chores, playing with us or changing our diapers etc., while I, being the only help for my wife in Bangkok, try to be home as much as possible to be involved in every single aspect of Noah's well-being. That said, who do you think is the better Father? Is it possible to even judge or put a number to it?

Because of our absolute contrast in styles, if he scores well in the BFI, I would probably appear to be an absolute failure of a Daddy and vice versa. Is that even fair then? I turned out ok from his style of fathering, and who knows how Noah will turn out in the future? Ultimately, there is no right or wrong to parenting, as long as we do our best and love our wives and children with all our hearts, no number can ever be fairly tagged to our efforts.

Sorry for ranting so early in the morning, but I think the fathers' collective voice needs to be heard. This BFI really is an indication of how misunderstood Daddies are these days. We are stressed enough having to provide for the family and help out at home, among many other roles we play!

I am not the first father to give his strong views on this issue (see here, here and here), and will most definitely not be the last.

A special appreciation for a special person in my life

It's the end of yet another year. In a couple of days, I will be marching into my 5th calendar year in Thailand. Lots have happened over this period, but 2012 has been an exceptionally eventful one, particularly with the birth of Noah changing my life forever.

At this moment, instead of compiling a flashback of the key events that took place in the past 12 months, I would like to use this post to pay a special tribute to the 1 single most important person in my life, my wife Li Li.

Thank you, for giving up everything in Singapore to relocate to Bangkok, even though there are many more uncertainties than certainties.

Thank you, for going through the torturous first trimester and subsequently the nervy delivery to give birth to our dear little son.

Thank you, for becoming a full-time stay-at-home-mum, making Noah your priority, showering him with ceaseless care 24-hours a day.

Thank you, for being the rock that supports me when I do battle outside. Regardless of how heavy I fall, I know I can stand up again because you are holding my hand.

Thank you, for bearing with my tactless comments and remarks. I often say the wrong things at the wrong time, but trust me, I will improve myself to become the best husband and father in the world.

Happy new year Li Li.

I can't promise you limousines and diamond rings, but as long as we continue to stand firm beside each other, every year will be better than the last.

Stranger in Bangkok. The Prequel

In the light of the recent release of "The Hobbit", which is actually the prequel to the "Lord of the Rings" franchise (and is going to evolve into a major franchise on its own), it seems like prequels are the new "in" thing for movie-makers to reprise old themes into new moneymaking material (think "X-man", "Wolverine" and "Star Wars" but to name a few). How can I miss the prequel train? I had a life before I became the Stranger in Bangkok as well, so let's call this blogpost "Stranger in Bangkok. The Prequel".

Prequel eh? But please, don't wind the clock so far back, I can't remember what happened 30 yrs ago!

From 2004-2008, I was working for a company based in Singapore, doing international sales and marketing (and basically everything else) for their new product line, and as a result traveled to every country you can think of on the globe to set up a new distributor network. It was an absolutely brutal working environment, long hours, a management who never fail to become the cause of your nightmares, incessant travelling on a shoestring budget, barely-acceptable salary etc. It is probably one of the most demanding jobs a fresh graduate could ask for. However, thinking back, aside of the last few months when I suffered the customary deliberate mental torture by the management before finally leaving the company, I have nothing to complain about during those 4 years of hard work.

The tough times were really unforgettable, but not necessarily in an unpleasant way. The mental grilling by the management with no lack of the vulgar-est vulgarities (in assorted languages involving everyone's parents, no less), the setting up and tearing down of exhibition booths which involved products weighing hundreds of kilograms (while dressed in suits manning the booths during the exhibitions), the living in 2* establishments and asking clients to pick me up at the 5* hotels nearby, the sleepless jet-lagged nights overseas clearing emails after a full day of meetings, the frequent stays in the manufacturing facility making sure the customized orders were made properly etc. etc. etc....

But hey, there's always the glamorous side of things. Being 1 of the only 3 or 4 colleagues who hit the road consistently, I was one of the 'faces' of the company. The one who was at every exhibition, every international dealer meeting and every end-user seminar, in any country/province/town/village. I convinced professors our products were the best, I made an entire auditorium of Argentinians laugh and clap during my animated training seminar and even went to South Africa to close a branch office down when I knew almost nothing about running a company, not to say close one down.

In addition to that, though I mostly stayed in budget accommodation and spent 90% of my awake time abroad either on the road, at the airport or at my customer's office, I can say that I have left my footprints on more places that I would ever imagine to have been able to by the time I was 28.

Please be warned that there are many photos coming up that were taken when I was a skinny boy in a suit,  and now I am a fat Daddy running around in T-shirt and flip-flops. How times change (for the better)!

I almost froze to death in Chicago

I fell in love with Greece, leading to it becoming my honeymoon destination

I grilled my own Argentinian steak in Buenos Aires. I still cannot forget the aroma of slow-roasted Argentinian beef

I viewed the majestic Pyramids and the Sphynx 

I dined under an old French tree 

I strutted my stuff in India

I attended a wedding in Iran!!

I drank, and drank, and drank, and drank Soju in Korea and realised for the first time I look very Korean
Then got tricked to eat live octopus (see video below) which I did not swallow.

I visited an oil refinery in Mexico

I took a picture with the Disneyland castle in Munich

I was in New Orleans shortly after the Hurricane catastrophe

I partied in Peru

I touched baby lions in South Africa

I sang to trained hundreds of locals in Vietnam, and this is what I usually do when I travel

I went to many more places, but I shall not bore you with more poorly self-taken pictures during my lonely adventures, bar this final one which might have paved the way for the next chapter in my life: Becoming the Stranger in Bangkok.

I made yearly business trips to Thailand!

Everything happens for a reason, and God's plans can never be anticipated, neither can they be pushed away when they pan out in front of you.

If not for the torturous years in my ex-company, I would not mature from a raw fresh graduate into a confident, focused and street-wise young man in the space of 4 years. I could have earned a lot more money in another company, but experience cannot be bought.

If not for my annual trips to Thailand and enjoying every minute of it, I would not jump at the opportunity to work in Bangkok once it presented itself.

Here's my prequel, a special part of my life presented to you on this space, an unforgettable, immensely gratifying yet very challenging few years that has never before been mentioned in detail on this blog. Hope you now understand me more because of it.

If you are still wondering why I so bravely took up the challenge of relocating to Bangkok, you might have found a large part of the answer here.