Songkran 2026 - the most unforgettable one

Songkran, Thailand's new year, just ended a week ago. I can't help but feel that my 2026 will forever be defined my dad's sudden passing right before Chinese New Year in February, and our first Qingming for him right before Songkran in April.

It was just a blink of an eye ago, when I was pushing him in a wheelchair in Yunnan in April 2025, admiring the snow mountains, enjoying wild mushroom hotpot together, and him convincing me to sing in the KTV at ClubMed when I wasn’t really in the mood to sing in front of a big group of elders.

Enjoying his best life in Yunnan.

Even closer in memory, late August 2025, he celebrated his 74th - his best birthday ever, over a huge steamed Black Emperor Fish (he specially asked me to arrange as he had never eaten one before) in the presence of his closest family and friends.

I held his hand tightly as he went through his first ever dialysis session after a fall at home in October 2025.

When I welcomed 2026 with him, he was already recovering rapidly after the positive effects of dialysis, and was quickly returning to his usual social activities. He had clear instructions about Chinese New Year 2026, which resulted in me helping him book a table for our family's Réunion dinner, which he missed by a week.

He was the one who made sure everyone was present without fail every CNY, a determination only a global pandemic managed to stop. It was sometimes painful to arrange, but on hindsight, it was his way of showing his brand of tough love, ensuring the family remained close. He then reminded us of his gentle, tender love when we met, in actions reserved solely for his grandchildren.

This year, he made sure all of us had somewhere to celebrate anyway, with or without him, not only for CNY Eve, but on the first day of CNY as well.

This is my father.

He wasn’t perfect, but he showed us it was possible to love on our own terms.

He showed us it was possible to live on our own terms

He showed us, it was also possible to leave on our own terms.

This is life.

The reminder to love while you can comes in the cruelest of ways sometimes.

I miss you Dad.

Dear Noah the Teen

Dear Noah

You told me recently that my last post here was in 2023, and I remember replying that I do plan to post something here in 2024, what did you did not know is that this one and only post of the year will be specially dedicated to you.

Over the years, I have been trying my best to be there holding your hand through every milestone big or small, and with immense pride, I witnessed your graduation from Primary School in July this year.

Then again, I must remind you that the most carefree part of your life is also over. With increased lankiness comes with greater complications and responsibilities. What I am satisfied with though, is that Dad, Mum and Ellie have walked with you through your childhood and hopefully you will look back at it fondly - at the trips and eating adventures we did together, and treasure the close bonds you fostered with your friends and extended family.

The wicked media has portrayed the Terrible Teens to be darker than the Terrible Twos - where you will lock yourself for hours in the room, refuse to go out with us and see us no better than dinosaurs stuck in ancient times. I am hopeful though, that for us, it will not be, as it does not have to be like that.

Just be yourself. Be the jolly good fellow interested to engage in conversation with everyone at the table. Be the lanky handsome kid pushing out delicious meals with Dad, making chocolate bombs with mum, playing lively piano duets with your sister, and of course, figuring out how to become a legendary tag team with me on FC25 (hint: Passing angles!).

The world is getting murkier by the day, and the lines between good and evil are no longer clear. You will soon realise, if you haven’t already, that life will be about making choices, about making more right choices than wrong ones. If there is anything I can advise you, is to always do what you think is right, make decisions that will make you sleep well at night.

And if you are sure the right thing is to give someone a punch on his face, make sure it hurts, then make sure you sleep well that night.

Finally, have an open mind. Stay curious. Eat everything Daddy recommends.

Love you,
Daddy

A letter to Noah and Ellie - You are not alone

Dear Noah and Ellie

I have a worrying observation of the world you are living in.

While your grandparents grew up running in the field catching grasshoppers, Daddy and Mummy grew up playing hopscotch with friends, you are growing up watching on-demand videos on YouTube and playing computer games from a young age. This was made worse by Covid, which grounded you for best part of an entire year, when socializing was deemed dangerous.

Of course, this is not your fault. We cannot control the tide. Your generation will breathe social media and tech-literacy. Many of you will become influencers in your own right, and with working from home increasingly a norm, you might no longer need to report to an office when you eventually start working. You might be able to showcase your talent to the world remotely, from anywhere, alone.

Now, here’s the main problem. The word ‘alone’. No man is an island. I believe we are always better together. That’s how I was brought up. Take the movie you recently watched, “Fast and Feel Love” for example. Didn’t it effectively highlight an aspect of teamwork when it otherwise would not be obvious? If not for the help of a village of people in every other aspect of his life, how would the male lead “Kao” be able to concentrate on practicing to become the world’s fastest sport stacker, an activity that otherwise looks as lonely as it gets?

We might feel like we are taking on the world ourselves, but we’re not. Many people have put everything in place, to facilitate this misconception of solo heroism. It will be a crime to undermine the importance of social skills, team work, and the ability to love the people around us.

That is also why Daddy and Mummy hope that in your formative years, on top of developing on your interests, you will actively partake in team activities, be it in academic groups, social clubs, music orchestras or team sports. The experience of being surrounded by peers fighting for the same goal, sacrificing for each other will definitely become a highlight of your childhood memories. This is also the time you can witness the magic of a united collective spirit making a team bigger than the sum of its parts, and the possibility of lifelong friendships as its ultimate by-product.

You are in the best part of your lives. Daddy and Mummy are happy to see you enjoying your childhood with us, with each other. Don’t lose sight of what’s important, of what’s happening around you, as this world has a knack of making you feel lonely.

Remember, you are never alone.

Loving you more everyday
Daddy

歌曲分享：幸福的孩子爱唱歌 (附加英语歌词翻译，inc. English translation)

It's been a long time since I felt this way about a song.

很久没有这种感觉。

This morning, on the way to school, with my son on my left and my daughter on my right, I played this song, with them smiling and watching beside me.

今早，在送孩子上学时，儿子在左边，女儿在右边，我播了这首歌。他们笑着，看着，哼着。

I realised how simple happiness can be.

忽然间，发现快乐其实很简单。

It can be as simple as a song, singing a song with the people who mean the most.

跟亲爱的人听歌，唱歌，就这么简单。

I had to hold back my tears towards the end of the song.

听着听着，眼睛有点湿湿的。

I am such an emo dad.

我真是一个性感性的爸爸。

PS. Pardon my poor translation of the song lyrics from Chinese to English.

           幸福的孩子爱唱歌

作词：黃靜雅
作曲：谢欣芷

阳光灿烂天空好清澈　

Sun is shining bright in the clear blue sky
花朵开满各种颜色

The fields are filled with colourful flowers
听见窗外一群小白鸽

I can hear a school of little white doves　

咕噜咕噜噜在唱歌
Singing a beautiful song outside my window

忽然明白幸福是什么

I suddenly understand what happiness is 　

幸福就像是一首歌

Happiness is like a song
大声地唱歌怡然自得

Singing loudly and joyfully　

心情就变得好快乐
Will make me feel so happy

幸福的孩子唱着幸福的歌

Happy children singing a happy song
啦啦啦啦啦啦　珍惜美好的时刻
Lalala... Treasure the good times
我们一起唱幸福快乐的歌

We sing a happy song together
幸福快乐的孩子爱唱歌

Happy children love to sing

爱唱歌的孩子幸福快乐

Singing children are blessed and happy

Birthday Letters from Daddy: Ellie is 3!

Big Brother more excited than birthday girl

3 years on, sometimes it still feels like a dream that you are among us. 

Daddy grew up in a family full of boys. I have never understood how it feels to have a little girl in my house. Little girls are pretty, sweet and angelic isn't it? Well, you have proven to be all of that and more.

Unlike your brother, who considers his every action carefully, you are a little daredevil with no care in the world. He spent a best part of 2 years crying in the morning when I send him to school, you protested for hardly 2 weeks, and you barely even look at me when I leave you every morning. So independent, yet so close to Daddy's heart. Whenever I slump at the front door, dejected, you will always appear to give me some hugs, as if you knew I really needed them.

情人United!

If you can turn into a little genie and be so kind to grant Daddy 3 wishes, first, I wish you will be less picky with your food and start eating more fruits and vegetables. The world of food is so amazing, and your Daddy is spending much of his free time telling the world how fascinating food in Bangkok can be. It disheartens me sometimes to see my little girl rejecting almost every green thing on the plate.

Noah joins in!

Secondly, I wish you will be kind to Noah in all situations. I know he's possessive and sensitive and drives us crazy sometimes, but he wouldn't even think of hurting you. Those screams, shrieks, pushes and scratches are totally unnecessary. Your big brother loves you to bits. Remember, he will be the one who will accompany you for the best part of your life, not Daddy.

I am in love with this picture. Credit: Aroimakmak

Last but not least, I hope you will continue to love Mummy with all your heart. Since the day you were born, Mummy has given nothing but her very best for you, 24 hours a day, everyday. I have not seen her make a decision that doesn't have your well-being as the ultimate priority. Love mummy, make life easier for her. That's the least she deserves. 

I shall not use any of those wishes on myself because you are already perfect. The untidy free-spirit hidden under the covers of your flowy dresses. The sweet, considerate darling bursting out of Noah's boyish old outfits. You delight and surprise me at the same time.

I love you Ellie, you complete our family with all of your kiddy witty ways. I hope you stay healthy, happy and free of worry. 

Happy birthday.

Love,

Daddy

Birthday Letters from Daddy: Noah turns 5

Dear Noah,

I remembered when you were still an infant (or was it before you were born), my Auntie (your grand-auntie) Elfy told me that her son Jodan (your uncle) taught her way more than she can ever teach him.

I think I am slowly starting to understand what she was trying to say. You are my first-born, my first baby, first infant, first toddler and will soon be my first teenage, then first adult child. You will always be throwing at me curve balls I have never caught before, no matter how many years of parenting experience I would have accumulated.

In no time, you will be learning from your school, your friends, your bosses, your seniors and less and less from me, while because of you, I will still be learning how to be a better father every single day.

I used to think that the parent's love is unconditional, that I am willing to die for my children if situation calls for it. Even though that is true, I also realise that my love for you is maybe not that unconditional after all. I find myself being nasty to you for the little tantrums you throw, for the minor disobediences that are inevitable in a growing child increasingly mesmerised by the world around him.

2 nights ago, I got impatient with you for dragging your feet when I wanted to brush your teeth to prepare for bed. You climbed onto the dining table with pen and paper when it's way past bedtime. I got frustrated and gave you a strict ultimatum. You quickly came with the piece of paper with "Noah loves Eddie" written on it.

That's all you wanted to do?

Even when I started to evolve into the angry Dad when you didn't follow my orders.

This is the kind of love lesson you are giving me every single day.

It's almost as if we made the whirlwind trip to Singapore and Malaysia as a birthday tour for Noah. 3 celebrations. 3 countries. 1 week. Epic. #epic #birthdaytour #eatcakeeverywhere #strangerinbangkok #strangerinbuangkok #strangerinmerokok #ilovemyfamily #noahturns5 #larnahouse #totoro

A photo posted by Eddie (@strangerinbangkok) on Feb 1, 2017 at 4:41pm PST

Happy birthday Noah. You are 5 now, and will start to realise Daddy is no perfect know-it-all. But Daddy hopes you will understand that Daddy has a job to do, that is to tell you what is right and what is wrong, so that you grow up a righteous discerning young man who is a blessing to everyone around you.

Even though we will have our differences, we are family at the end of the day and I will be behind you all the way.

Never forget that.


Loving you more everyday,
Daddy

A Dad's Dinner

I was in a very engaging chat with my brother-in-law in Singapore about apples, phones and other manly stuff until the topic of food came up. I was waiting for my lovelies to be ready for dinner while he was waiting for his lovely to do the same. Then came a picture from him of a plate of calamari. Not wanting to lose out, I promised to send him a picture of my sure-to-be delicious dinner.

We then made our way to the trusty Chabuton, because it works when we are out of ideas. I will never reject a decent ramen fix, while Noah loves their Chasiu-don. But what about my wife? With Ellie in front of her in the carrier all the time, she was likely to forgo the potentially-dangerous soupy ramen again. Determined to give her at least the freedom of choosing ramen, I volunteered to handle Ellie while she ate.

I absolutely love being a father and adore my children to bits, but I do not enjoy every single thing. I am incredibly irritated with feeding Noah, especially when he misbehaves while being fed, which is not uncommon these days. However, yesterday, with the extremely fragrant Chasiu-don in front of him, he ate well. Phew! Inspired by our earlier hour-and-a-half date with the Minions, Ellie took her banana properly too.

But wait, where's the picture I was supposed to take?

Totally forgot!

Scrolling through my phone, these were the only pictures I could find.

One mouth of rice for Noah

One mouth of banana for Ellie

Sorry brother-in-law, these are the only pictures you are gonna get!

Oh, and this GIF.

All of us enjoyed our dinners, thank you very much!

The "Better Fathering Index"- what's the point?

Happy New Year! I have been delaying my first post of 2013 due to my extremely heavy workload (think working and attending Thai language lessons and webpage design lessons concurrently) recently, but a new development in Singapore has activated my blogging instincts sufficiently for me to wake up especially early today to write this piece.

Singapore has done it again, it has achieved another FIRST, this time, in becoming the FIRST country in the world to come up with a performance-measuring-scale for fathers in Singapore, called the "Better Fathering Index" (referred to as the BFI for the rest of the post). Having an airport ranking NUMBER 1 in the world, or having the largest ferris wheel in the world might offer some form of pride for some Singaporeans, but I believe this new number 1 will not be welcome by many any parent.

Firstly, why the BFI? Why not formulate the "Better Mothering Index" or "Best Grandparenting Index"? Because it is downright insulting to the mother since everyone knows the mother is the one who will naturally be most involved in taking care of the child? Because our old and retired grandparents do not deserve anymore stress having a number put on their heads when they should be deservedly enjoying the final phase of their lives? Then, why target the father instead?

Secondly, what is the point of parenting? Aren't all parents trying their very best so that their children will hopefully be brought up the right way and become good people who contribute to the society? If that is the case, shouldn't 'measuring' the 'quality' of the kids we bring up be a more accurate measure of how good a job we have done? No, of course not, the government might argue. Rightly so, because over the last few decades, children in Singapore have been under so much unnecessary stress over grades and rankings in school that MOE has removed (*round of applause) the ranking system in school as well as the announcement of most outstanding grades in PSLE. Then, why now start to put a number on Daddies' heads?

Thirdly, how are we to judge how good a father is? According to the Centre for Fathering, it might involve aspects like how much time the father spends with the child and the kinds of activities they do together. 

Take my father and myself for example, we are absolutely contrasting Daddies. My dad, being the traditional guy as he is, spends most of his time working, expanding his company (shedding blood and sweat outside to provide for the family) and therefore is not very involved in the nitty gritty details at home like cooking, doing chores, playing with us or changing our diapers etc., while I, being the only help for my wife in Bangkok, try to be home as much as possible to be involved in every single aspect of Noah's well-being. That said, who do you think is the better Father? Is it possible to even judge or put a number to it?

Because of our absolute contrast in styles, if he scores well in the BFI, I would probably appear to be an absolute failure of a Daddy and vice versa. Is that even fair then? I turned out ok from his style of fathering, and who knows how Noah will turn out in the future? Ultimately, there is no right or wrong to parenting, as long as we do our best and love our wives and children with all our hearts, no number can ever be fairly tagged to our efforts.

Sorry for ranting so early in the morning, but I think the fathers' collective voice needs to be heard. This BFI really is an indication of how misunderstood Daddies are these days. We are stressed enough having to provide for the family and help out at home, among many other roles we play!

I am not the first father to give his strong views on this issue (see here, here and here), and will most definitely not be the last.