Songkran, Thailand's new year, just ended a week ago. I can't help but feel that my 2026 will forever be defined my dad's sudden passing right before Chinese New Year in February, and our first Qingming for him right before Songkran in April.
It was just a blink of an eye ago, when I was pushing him in a wheelchair in Yunnan in April 2025, admiring the snow mountains, enjoying wild mushroom hotpot together, and him convincing me to sing in the KTV at ClubMed when I wasn’t really in the mood to sing in front of a big group of elders.
Even closer in memory, late August 2025, he celebrated his 74th - his best birthday ever, over a huge steamed Black Emperor Fish (he specially asked me to arrange as he had never eaten one before) in the presence of his closest family and friends.
I held his hand tightly as he went through his first ever dialysis session after a fall at home in October 2025.
When I welcomed 2026 with him, he was already recovering rapidly after the positive effects of dialysis, and was quickly returning to his usual social activities. He had clear instructions about Chinese New Year 2026, which resulted in me helping him book a table for our family's Réunion dinner, which he missed by a week.
He was the one who made sure everyone was present without fail every CNY, a determination only a global pandemic managed to stop. It was sometimes painful to arrange, but on hindsight, it was his way of showing his brand of tough love, ensuring the family remained close. He then reminded us of his gentle, tender love when we met, in actions reserved solely for his grandchildren.
This year, he made sure all of us had somewhere to celebrate anyway, with or without him, not only for CNY Eve, but on the first day of CNY as well.
This is my father.
He wasn’t perfect, but he showed us it was possible to love on our own terms.
He showed us it was possible to live on our own terms
He showed us, it was also possible to leave on our own terms.
This is life.
The reminder to love while you can comes in the cruelest of ways sometimes.
I miss you Dad.
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