From 13 to 32: Speech transcript for Mario (PQ) and Luigi's (Junxiong) wedding

A couple of weeks ago, I made a whirlwind trip to Singapore for the sole reason of supporting my dear brother Junxiong's wedding, and boy was it a great trip. We had a heck of a time, especially in our costumes with the sisters at Chinese Garden filming our martial arts movie.

Girls, you are not 村姑，but beautiful students from 1920s China

But cannot compare with how cool we are la

I was actually also invited by Junxiong to represent the brothers to make a speech during dinner, which (thankfully) was scrapped at the last minute due to unforeseen circumstances. Though I was relieved (I am sure you are too Adeline) at that time because I did not make proper preparation to do him justice, I feel that I should still publish my cancelled speech here to commemorate our friendship and to bless this cute couple, so here goes:

Sawatdii Krup. My name is Eddie and I am from Bangkok. Junxiong probably chose me to give this speech because I traveled the farthest to get here, so I am due more screentime, but I am happy he chose me anyway. 

(laughter)

Where should I start? We have a long long history together. Let's just start from the first day of Secondary School in 1994 (where did all that time go), when we became each other's first friends in an intimidating new environment. That was his first of many other mishaps with me. I soon conned him to become part of the Chinese Orchestra, where we were separated as I got my wish to play the erhu and he got chosen to play the cello (I suspect because of his size).

Come to think of it, he got the better deal. While my erhu is rotting at home, and can only become useful either in another Chinese Orchestra or by the roadside when I lose my job, Junxiong has skills to play an instrument that is pivotal in most genres of music, even blues and jazz. He should actually thank me for it, but he never did.

(laughter)

Our time in the Chinese Orchestra ultimately proved to be one of the most important chapters of our lives. It was where the 5-man team formed, with Guangjin (spelt correct or not), Guojun and Youchun completing the Pentagon of strength which is still standing firm 20 years down the road.

(applause)

I am sure this was how we enjoyed ourselves 20 years ago too

I remembered us sticking together through thick and thin. Who can forget all those endless hours of practice 3 to 4 days a week, the triumphs and disappointments in various competitions, culminating with a rapturous crescendo in 1998 when we made our first trip abroad together to hold a concert in Beijing.

(Noah calls Daddy)

Every CO practice seemed to be our warm-up before we took our positions on court after our conductor finally allowed us to put our instruments down. Our basketball sessions were always too short, even though most of them ended after nightfall, when our young eyes could hardly make out the outline of the basket. It would be followed by a mad scramble to the vending machine and everyone gulping down at least 3 packets of H2O each. It was on the basketball court that we ultimately forged our seamless understanding that lasts till today.

(Noah keeps calling Daddy and there is a prolonged pause in the speech)

However, for a period of 5 to 6 years after JC, the 5 of us lost touch completely. This was when Junxiong spent the time of his life (oops) in Japan. I was told that all the bad things in his life happened there, and they will never be uncovered again (you might be able to find out more from Meicheng with some effective bribes).

(laughter)

When we finally met again. Junxiong was literally a changed man. He shrunk beyond recognition. Japan was not good to him. No wonder all the bad things happened there.

(laughter)

Look at us then. Look at all of us now. From being clearly the fattest, he is now clearly the skinniest. Aside of the evergreen Guangjin, all of us have expanded consistently with age, except for our groom today. 

This transformation is definitely not by chance. No one knows how many bad things he did in Japan to achieve the amazing weightloss, but we all know how hard he has been trying to maintain his figure for the last few years. This sheer determination cannot be taken for granted, and I am sure he will use the same determination to make our Mario PQ the 2nd happiest wife in the world, after mine.

(Laughter)

Make sure you make her the 2nd happiest wife in the world

So now, let me represent the brothers, and everyone else here, to take our knives and do a deep cut into the delicious stuffed chicken (or not-so-delicious sambal fish) on our plates in front of us to wish them eternal marital bliss. Thank you everyone for your attention, bon appetit.

(Rapturous applause and standing ovation from Noah)

So there you have it, the brother speech that was fortunately not done on the big day itself. I would hereby like to thank Junxiong and PQ, for involving us to help you organize such a memorable wedding, and also for putting so much effort to con us into starring in your wedding video. So let me end this post off by showing this video off to everyone. Have a good laugh.

PS. Thank you Kinici Photo for the nice pictures and Andy for the video!